Has anyone ever told you to run for the people who can’t? There are times when I have been whining about a lack of motivation and people tell me “Well at least you can run. When you don’t want to run, think about all of the people who can’t and then do it for them.” I never quite understood this until the other day. A friend of mine was complaining about her splits in race over the weekend, and I was just thinking, “Damn, at least you could run!!”
In November and December, I ran a ton of races. Almost every weekend, we had a half or 10k race on the schedule. Cajun Cup. Baton Rouge Beach Half. Woman’s Half. Big Easy Running Festival. I don’t know if I got burned out or not, but I was really lacking motivation to get out there after one of my races in December. I took two weeks off to try and find my mojo, and got back out there for the Louisiana Marathon in January. For me, that was a terrible race. I felt like I needed to throw up the entire time and my time was not where I wanted it to be. After that, I stopped running altogether for the next few weeks.
Over that time, I realized that I just felt bad in general- all the time. Every time I ate, I felt like I needed to throw up. I finally went to the doctor, and after a bunch of tests, we realized that my gallbladder was functioning at 10% and it needed to go. I had surgery this past Thursday morning and I have been recovering since.
Recovery has been SO hard for me. First of all, I’m a fat-eating kind of girl. We eat high-fat, low-carb. I can eat NO fat now, which is hard for me. The dietary shift will take some time in and of itself. I ate quite a bit of fat yesterday and I completely paid for it last night. No more. Secondly, it hurts to move. I’m a very active person, so now that I’m having to sit for days after days, it’s hard. I’m completely stir-crazy, but I’m letting my body get the rest it so desperately needs.
One of the best things about this recovery time, though, is the fact that it is refueling my motivation. All I want right now is to go out on a run. I want to race! I want to run! I’m almost angry at myself for being so whiney when I was healthy. (But then again, I guess I wasn’t so healthy then? My gallbladder is most likely to blame for my lack of motivation since I had no energy and I just felt terribly.) I was looking through my Instagram account the other day (@geauxtriandrun) and I was SO JEALOUS of everyone running the Princess Half at Disney World. I glared longingly at their pictures on the course and afterward. I am so excited to get back out there and race (and maybe sign up for a runDisney race! who knows??) I know it will be a long road and that recovery will keep me going slow for a while, but the fact that I have found my motivation again is really exciting.
Life is hard and it gets in the way sometimes- I’d love to hear your stories about finding your motivation so we can all keep each other motivated!